Is people-pleasing keeping you overweight?

“What?! How is that possible?!”

So many of the women that I coach get stuck in putting others first. They feel strongly that if they take time or resources to take care of themselves, then they will be taking away from others in their lives.

In addition many of the ladies I coach people please by pushing themselves past what they are able to do, at work, at home, all day long, and eventually end up operating from an empty bucket. Operating from an empty bucket as we have talked about before makes it so much easier for you to return to using food to escape.

Do you struggle to get healthy because you are coming up against things like?

  • “I don’t have time to be healthy. If I take the time to cook healthy or go for a walk I will have to take time away from work (or my family) and they won’t like it. So I don’t take the time to be healthy”
  • “I don’t have money to be healthy. If I use some money to get support or use some money to cook healthy than I will have to take money away from the things that my family ( husband , kids, etc.) likes to do and they will not be happy. So I don’t take action in my health and weight loss because I don’t want to upset them.”
  • “If I make a healthy smoothie in the morning I will wake up my kids so I can’t eat a healthy breakfast.”
  • “If I use money to be healthy than we will not be able to eat out as much and my family won’t like that.”

It all boils down to: “If I take care of me it means that I have to take away from others.”

In this place the theme is you are stuck in an ‘OR’

I either take care of me OR I can take care of others.

So in this place the fear of hurting someone’s feelings is a higher priority than your feelings and needs. This is a perfect recipe for stuffing down your true needs with food. I understand these types of concerns. They can be very scary to face and ask for what you need to be healthy. Especially if you have had a history of “failed diet attempts”.

If you were to share your true struggles with your family and help them understand why you want to try again and use whatever resources you need to heal emotional eating and finally release the weight for good, what would be the best thing that comes out of that?

I am sure that by doing things to make you happier and healthier you would be adding on YEARS to your life. Wouldn’t the people in your life that love you like to have those extra years to spend with you?

I invite you to take inventory in your life, where are you stuck in people pleasing? This is just more information to help you understand WHY you are emotionally eating. You can take action on these areas when you are ready. For now, lets just explore with curiosity!

Where are you stuck in using an “OR”? “I either make a healthier dinner for me, making me happy OR I can make what they want, making them happy.”

  • How is people pleasing keeping you stuck in being overweight?
  • Where in your life are you using an OR and it is keeping you stuck in not truly taking care of your needs?
  • Where in your life are you spending resources that are not getting closer to having a healthier life?
  • If you were not afraid of what others in your life would say or do, what type of resources would you ask for to be healthy?

“Just for today I reflect on where the ORs are in my life.

Just for today I notice where I am stepping on my own needs and not asking for what I need by people pleasing.

Just for today trust that I am valuable and I am kind to myself today.

Just for today I try on what it would look like in my weight loss and overcoming emotional eating if I were to ask for the resources truly I need to be healthy.

Just for today I am worthy to make this beautiful gift of my one life the happiest healthiest version possible!

Just for today I see where I can start to get support by letting go of some of the ORs in my life.

Just for today I am worthy to do what it takes to overcome emotional eating and finally release the weight for good!”

Emmie Anne Love

Coach Emmie is a Certified Eating Psychology Coach specializing in personal and group coaching services for women who want to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight.

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